sábado, 15 de agosto de 2015
entonces ¿Qué?
Puede que esté loco. O que simplemente tenga un trastorno considerable emocional que haga que tenga estos altibajos que dan tantos tumbos a mi corazón que el pobre hay días que no sabe ya si va o si viene. Puede que sea algo excesivo, que debiera de ir al psicólogo para que me tratara de hacer controlar estas emociones y sentimientos. Os lo juro, a veces se sienten tan imparables como un tren contra una pared de papel. A veces, hasta yo mismo me asusto de lo intenso que puede llegar a ser. Es cerrar los ojos, revivir un sólo momento en una imagen, y me explota por dentro un fuego que me eriza hasta los pelos de la nuca.
Trocitos de papel
Nunca se lo había planteado, nunca se había parado a sentarse y dedicarle unos minutos a esa parte de su vida. Y si lo había hecho, había sido de manera inconsciente. ¿Cómo saber cuando estamos siguiendo un camino que nos está privando de otro mejor? ¿Cómo saber cuando es momento de cambiar o de probar algo diferente?
Tomo un sorbo del batido de fruta que tenía sobre la mesa y pestañeó un par de veces centrando de nuevo la vista en el ordenador. Ese trabajo no se iba a terminar sólo, y aun le quedaba la mitad. Suspiró profundamente y comenzó a releer el último párrafo que había escrito para recordar por dónde iba.
- ¿Quieres que te ayude?- escuchó de repente su voz detrás de ella. Se giró y le vio de pie, recién llegado de la calle, todavía con el traje y los zapatos, con la mirada cansada, pero con una sonrisa en la cara. Era un trabajo importante, trabajo de fin de carrera ni más ni menos, pero sabía que si de alguien podía fiarse, era de él. Ella le devolvió la sonrisa y asintió con la cabeza, echándose a un lado y dejando sitio a su lado. Él se quitó la chaqueta, se aflojó la corbata, y comenzaron a repasar el escrito. Y así pasaron las horas.
En algún momento ella se preguntó si estaría ayudándola sólo porque se sentía en deuda, pero cada vez que le escuchaba comentar algo sobre el texto, su voz sonaba entusiasmada y su mirada había perdido el cansancio.
Pasaban los días y cada día era distinto, pero siempre había algo que era igual. Él siempre llegaba tarde por la noche, y a ella siempre le nacía esperarle. No sé llegó a preguntar qué le parecería a él que hiciera eso, tampoco le importaba. Ella lo hacía porque quería y ya está. Él llegaba tan cansado que no tenía ganas ni de cocinar ni de hacer absolutamente nada. En más de una ocasión, ella le preparó algo de cenar. No importaba lo que fuera, él se comía cualquier cosa que le preparara, y además parecía disfrutar comiéndolo, incluso aunque dijera que eso no le gustaba. Alguna vez se preguntó ella si realmente no le gustaba o si le estaba tomando el pelo. Era difícil saberlo. Muchas veces se quedaban hablando, cada vez de un tema, no importaba tampoco cuál. De alguna manera cuando hablaban podían ahondar mucho en la conversación, fuera del tema que fuera, y aunque realmente no se conocían de más de 1 mes, a ella le había demostrado que se podía confiar en él, que se podía hablar con él.
Así pasaron los días, decía, en total dos semanas en las que hubo historias de todo. Pero sobretodo risas, muchas risas. Y hablando de risas, habría que hablar de aquel día que fueron al Burger King. Algo tan simple como unos trozos de papel, algo tan leve como un soplido... crearon en ella una risa distinta a las demás.
Ella estaba hablando por teléfono mientras esperaban sentados a que les entregaran su pedido, él parecía estar simplemente ahí, ausente y pensando en sus cosas. Estaba entretenida hablando, y despedazando el ticket que les habían dado, dejándolo hecho trizas, haciendo de él docenas de papelitos pequeños que iba almacenando en su mano. Cuando dejó de hablar, él se giró a ella y le preguntó - ¿Dónde tienes el ticket?-. Ella abrió los ojos como platos y miró hacia su mano izquierda, y mientras la abría lentamente delante de su cara dijo - aquí.-. Y entonces lo hizo, sin pensarlo, de forma espontánea. Le sopló con fuerza en la mano, tirando todos los papeles volando sobre la cara de ella. Ni ella misma podría describirlo, cómo se rió en ese momento. Fue algo inesperado que le nació de dentro, como si se sintiera libre por un segundo y después de mucho tiempo sin sentirlo así. Se había reído antes, muchos días y muchas veces, pero no así, era algo diferente. No había mirado, se había olvidado de todo por un momento y se había dejado llevar, había saltado. Por un momento se preguntó a sí misma ¿Por qué algo tan tonto me ha hecho sentir tan bien?
Y se arrepintió, pero no de haber saltado, sino de no dejarse hacerlo más a menudo.
Tomo un sorbo del batido de fruta que tenía sobre la mesa y pestañeó un par de veces centrando de nuevo la vista en el ordenador. Ese trabajo no se iba a terminar sólo, y aun le quedaba la mitad. Suspiró profundamente y comenzó a releer el último párrafo que había escrito para recordar por dónde iba.
- ¿Quieres que te ayude?- escuchó de repente su voz detrás de ella. Se giró y le vio de pie, recién llegado de la calle, todavía con el traje y los zapatos, con la mirada cansada, pero con una sonrisa en la cara. Era un trabajo importante, trabajo de fin de carrera ni más ni menos, pero sabía que si de alguien podía fiarse, era de él. Ella le devolvió la sonrisa y asintió con la cabeza, echándose a un lado y dejando sitio a su lado. Él se quitó la chaqueta, se aflojó la corbata, y comenzaron a repasar el escrito. Y así pasaron las horas.
En algún momento ella se preguntó si estaría ayudándola sólo porque se sentía en deuda, pero cada vez que le escuchaba comentar algo sobre el texto, su voz sonaba entusiasmada y su mirada había perdido el cansancio.
Pasaban los días y cada día era distinto, pero siempre había algo que era igual. Él siempre llegaba tarde por la noche, y a ella siempre le nacía esperarle. No sé llegó a preguntar qué le parecería a él que hiciera eso, tampoco le importaba. Ella lo hacía porque quería y ya está. Él llegaba tan cansado que no tenía ganas ni de cocinar ni de hacer absolutamente nada. En más de una ocasión, ella le preparó algo de cenar. No importaba lo que fuera, él se comía cualquier cosa que le preparara, y además parecía disfrutar comiéndolo, incluso aunque dijera que eso no le gustaba. Alguna vez se preguntó ella si realmente no le gustaba o si le estaba tomando el pelo. Era difícil saberlo. Muchas veces se quedaban hablando, cada vez de un tema, no importaba tampoco cuál. De alguna manera cuando hablaban podían ahondar mucho en la conversación, fuera del tema que fuera, y aunque realmente no se conocían de más de 1 mes, a ella le había demostrado que se podía confiar en él, que se podía hablar con él.
Así pasaron los días, decía, en total dos semanas en las que hubo historias de todo. Pero sobretodo risas, muchas risas. Y hablando de risas, habría que hablar de aquel día que fueron al Burger King. Algo tan simple como unos trozos de papel, algo tan leve como un soplido... crearon en ella una risa distinta a las demás.
Ella estaba hablando por teléfono mientras esperaban sentados a que les entregaran su pedido, él parecía estar simplemente ahí, ausente y pensando en sus cosas. Estaba entretenida hablando, y despedazando el ticket que les habían dado, dejándolo hecho trizas, haciendo de él docenas de papelitos pequeños que iba almacenando en su mano. Cuando dejó de hablar, él se giró a ella y le preguntó - ¿Dónde tienes el ticket?-. Ella abrió los ojos como platos y miró hacia su mano izquierda, y mientras la abría lentamente delante de su cara dijo - aquí.-. Y entonces lo hizo, sin pensarlo, de forma espontánea. Le sopló con fuerza en la mano, tirando todos los papeles volando sobre la cara de ella. Ni ella misma podría describirlo, cómo se rió en ese momento. Fue algo inesperado que le nació de dentro, como si se sintiera libre por un segundo y después de mucho tiempo sin sentirlo así. Se había reído antes, muchos días y muchas veces, pero no así, era algo diferente. No había mirado, se había olvidado de todo por un momento y se había dejado llevar, había saltado. Por un momento se preguntó a sí misma ¿Por qué algo tan tonto me ha hecho sentir tan bien?
Y se arrepintió, pero no de haber saltado, sino de no dejarse hacerlo más a menudo.
sábado, 1 de agosto de 2015
Así él lo creía
Para cuando quiso darse cuenta, era tarde. Habían pasado ya varios días, varias noches, y su presencia, aunque fuera en la distancia, había quedado amarrada a su mente como un barco al muelle en un día de tormenta. Y menuda tormenta.
Los sentimientos caían en torrente y se entremezclaban unos con otros, agitando las aguas ferozmente, agitando su corazón hasta tal punto que confundía.
¿Por qué le resultaba tan fácil algo que le causaba tanto dolor? ¿Por qué nunca se echaba atrás, por qué su razón nunca ganaba el pulso al corazón?
La respuesta, al final del día, era tan sencilla como estúpida. Porque todo lo que ella le hacía sentir, compensaba todo el dolor que pudiera sufrir. En esta vida y en cien más.
O al menos eso pensó él a gritos, mientras en un susurro salía otra grieta en su corazón.
sábado, 25 de julio de 2015
Ti
Abro los ojos, y ¿qué veo? ¿Oscuridad? Ojalá, pues la oscuridad es sólo la ausencia de luz.
Lo que veo es un universo inmenso y complejo, vasto y con innumerables constelaciones y galaxias. Veo las estrellas lejanas y los planetas cercanos, veo todo... y sin embargo no llego a sentir el calor de ningún sol, no llego a sentir la luz de ninguna estrella. Lo único que siento es el vacío absoluto que lo envuelve todo. Ese vacío que no contempla gravedad, ni aire, ni sonido. Ese vacío que se siente como un abismo. Ese vacío que no tiene medida, porque crece cada día que me siento morir sin ti.
¿Que quién es ti? Qué importa el nombre, "ti" es quien me hace feliz.
sábado, 11 de julio de 2015
Dahka.
As he got down from the plane, the sight stunned him. He had heard of the country before, but witnessing it first hand, was a completly different thing. It was different from anything he had seen before. The buildings, the people, even the air seemed to feel differnt there.
He crossed the airport carrying his bagpack on his shoulders. He looked left and right, half-marvelled, half-preocupied that he was alone in a totaly foreign country. Not only he didn't understand the language, but also their culture was very different from his. He suddenly felt lost and his stomach ached because of his nerves.
Suddenly an image crossed his mind. He saw her, briefly, smiling. He could feel the warmth of her presence inside of him. And that erased all doubts and second thoughts. He was there for one reason, and he will not give up.
He got out from the airport and approached one of the cars parked out there, tried to ask for a bus station, in english. The driver looked at him questioningly, but answered with a heavy accent. After thanking the driver he started to walk towards the bus station, he was now smiling. Not only because luckily things seemed to be going easier for him now, but also because ever since he saw that image on his mind, he couldn't stop thinknig about her. She had that power. He liked her that much.
He stepped on the bus, it was also different from the buses he was used to. Or maybe it wasn't at all, but everything seemed so different there. Even things that were the same.
He sat quietly and leaning on the window. It would be a 4 hours trip if he had planned things propertly back home. 4 hours of silence, with nothing to read, with nothing to do. Nothing but to think of what would happen once he was there. He daydreamed all the trip long, and he wouldn't have done anything else even if he could have to. That was the way he was.
When he arrived to Ouazzane he felt an overwhelming feeling of being lost. The streets were confusing to him, the buildings were confusing to him. He wondered how would he even find the place he was meant to find. As he looked around, he realized for the first time how big of a thing he was doing. He had left his city, his country, and took a plane to a totaly unkonwn land for him. He had no idea how things would turn out, he had no idea if things would turn out at all... but one thing was clear to him. He had to see her.
He walked the streets, avoiding paying too much attention to anything, walking at a moderate speed to not look like a complete stranger, which he probably did despite his efforts. He had studied the map throughly, he had memorized every single corner there was, every single streetlight. But he kept feeling lost, even if he knew he was walking the right path. He walked for over half an hour until he found the house. He stood there, at the entrance, frozen. Fears started to grow in his mind. He started to question himself, his choices. He started to feel insecure, to feel anxious. What was he doing there?
Suddenly the house's door openend. And he saw her, live, for the first time. Suddenly he knew what he was doing there, fears, questions and insecurity faded like they had never existed. And for the first time in years... he finally stopped feeling lost. She saw him soon enough, her eyes widened, he mouth dropped open. She wanted to say something, but her voice just wouldn't come out. She wanted to move, to get close to him and fall inside his arms, she wanted to feel him real. But she knew she couldn't, and even if she could, her body didn't let her.. so she started to cry, she cried tears of happiness. The smile on her face, the smile on her eyes had never been greater. Her hands covered her mouth as she tried to hold off the crying. Was that real? Did he really... was he really there?
He checked his watch and spoke to her. "You have 40 minutes to prepare your things, we're leaving in 1 hour, we'll be out the whole weekend" She looked back at him, blinking and not understanding. "I made you a promise, it's time to full-fill it" He smiled and she understood. She could still not believe this was happening, but just in case it was real, she didn't want to miss a beat. She ran inside of her house. Only 30 minutes later, she was already out and ready.
He had just saw her half an hour ago, but seeing her again, made him just feel like the first time. Such a wonderful feeling, such a wonderful person she was. Her dark hair falling on her shoulders making undescribable curves, her delicate and sweet factions perfectly shaped, and her big dark eyes looking deeper than the soul goes. She was just the most beautiful thing in the world, he thought. He stared at her, completly mesmerized, loving her smile, loving her eyes, loving every bit of her.
"Thank you" she said. That was the first thing he ever heard her saying out loud. And he couldn't have wished for better words.
The car was old but comfortable, he had to take an old one just so he could afford it. That was the truth. It had been a long time since he had last driven a car, and the roads were totaly unknown and foreign to him. He didn't even undestand most of the signs, and yet... he had never been happier and more comfortable driving a car. She was sitting next to him, talking, excited and also happy that it all was happening. Truth be told, she was still not believing it was real, but she decided to find out. She quietly started reaching for his right hand, which was resting on the gearshift. Slowly, slowly, until her hand rested upon his. A strange tingle ran through both their bodies, their bodies became warm in a second, and their hearts started racing for a few seconds, before slowly recovering a normal beat. But they both noticed it, they both looked at each other when they did. Their hearts beated, and they did so to same rhythm.
After a few hours of driving, he asked her to close her eyes and put her free hand covering them too. "It's a surprise" was all his explanation.
30 minutes later, he stopped the car. "Can I open my eyes yet" she said. It was dusk, and the sun was only to be seen far off in the distance. The shadows of the buildings were almost merging with the buildings themselves in the less illuminated areas of the city. He smiled. "Yes, you can", he said, while taking her hand off her eyes. She blinked a couple of times to adapt her vision, and suddenly her eyes openend widely. No way. That couldn't be... but there was no mistake, it was. Dakhla!
She inmediatly jumped on him, hugging him. He put his arms around her, one hand on her head, careessing her hair. They not only noticed their own heart beats, this time they felt each others'.
They didn't move for a while. That moment was too great. Finaly, he softly pushed her back after kissing her forehead. "Ain't you hungry?" He winked and motioned her to follow.
They walked the streets of Dakhla, without any hurry, enjoying the beauty of the different buildings there. She had always wanted to go there, it was something she had in her mind for years. She was finaly there, and with the company she most wanted. They walked for almost two hours, going through every street, admiring every corner they passed by.
They had dinner at a typical restaurant. Nothing too fancy for her, perhaps, but a new world of flavours and food for him. He tried everything she recommended him to try. You can't imagine how much laughing there was during that dinner, nor how many times they looked to each other and time froze on the spot. Even so, the dinner was finished, and they left the restaurant.
The moon, high on the sky, kept an eye on them. And the stars, even trying their best, could not outshine the light on their eyes. They were walking close to each other, he touched her finger briefly, but forced himself to take his hand away. She poked his finger back, playfuly, and smiled.
They arrived to the hotel at noon. As they stood in front of the door to their room, he cleared his throat. "I... I hope you don't mind, there's only a doublebed..". She laughed, took the room's key from his hand and went in, leaving her laughter echoing in the air like a soft melody that only he could hear. He smiled and followed, closing the door behind him and sitting on the corner of the bed.
She sat next to him, looked at him. He looked right back. He shyly moved his hand towards hers, grabing it softly without moving his gaze from her eyes. She was expecting to hear something that would make her swoon, that's the truth. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find any words. And so they remained for what it looked like an eternity. He finaly decided. He took a deep breath, and she thought she was going to say those words she was expecting.
And he did. He pulled her from the hand, softly, and kissed her on the lips, saying in one single move all those things he couldn't say in words, and all the words she wanted to hear as well. He kissed her on the lips as if he had never kissed before. At that very moment, time stopped existing, distance became no more than a long forgotten ghost, every effort became worth it. At that very moment... they found their other half in the world.
At that very moment, the two, become one soul.
He crossed the airport carrying his bagpack on his shoulders. He looked left and right, half-marvelled, half-preocupied that he was alone in a totaly foreign country. Not only he didn't understand the language, but also their culture was very different from his. He suddenly felt lost and his stomach ached because of his nerves.
Suddenly an image crossed his mind. He saw her, briefly, smiling. He could feel the warmth of her presence inside of him. And that erased all doubts and second thoughts. He was there for one reason, and he will not give up.
He got out from the airport and approached one of the cars parked out there, tried to ask for a bus station, in english. The driver looked at him questioningly, but answered with a heavy accent. After thanking the driver he started to walk towards the bus station, he was now smiling. Not only because luckily things seemed to be going easier for him now, but also because ever since he saw that image on his mind, he couldn't stop thinknig about her. She had that power. He liked her that much.
He stepped on the bus, it was also different from the buses he was used to. Or maybe it wasn't at all, but everything seemed so different there. Even things that were the same.
He sat quietly and leaning on the window. It would be a 4 hours trip if he had planned things propertly back home. 4 hours of silence, with nothing to read, with nothing to do. Nothing but to think of what would happen once he was there. He daydreamed all the trip long, and he wouldn't have done anything else even if he could have to. That was the way he was.
When he arrived to Ouazzane he felt an overwhelming feeling of being lost. The streets were confusing to him, the buildings were confusing to him. He wondered how would he even find the place he was meant to find. As he looked around, he realized for the first time how big of a thing he was doing. He had left his city, his country, and took a plane to a totaly unkonwn land for him. He had no idea how things would turn out, he had no idea if things would turn out at all... but one thing was clear to him. He had to see her.
He walked the streets, avoiding paying too much attention to anything, walking at a moderate speed to not look like a complete stranger, which he probably did despite his efforts. He had studied the map throughly, he had memorized every single corner there was, every single streetlight. But he kept feeling lost, even if he knew he was walking the right path. He walked for over half an hour until he found the house. He stood there, at the entrance, frozen. Fears started to grow in his mind. He started to question himself, his choices. He started to feel insecure, to feel anxious. What was he doing there?
Suddenly the house's door openend. And he saw her, live, for the first time. Suddenly he knew what he was doing there, fears, questions and insecurity faded like they had never existed. And for the first time in years... he finally stopped feeling lost. She saw him soon enough, her eyes widened, he mouth dropped open. She wanted to say something, but her voice just wouldn't come out. She wanted to move, to get close to him and fall inside his arms, she wanted to feel him real. But she knew she couldn't, and even if she could, her body didn't let her.. so she started to cry, she cried tears of happiness. The smile on her face, the smile on her eyes had never been greater. Her hands covered her mouth as she tried to hold off the crying. Was that real? Did he really... was he really there?
He checked his watch and spoke to her. "You have 40 minutes to prepare your things, we're leaving in 1 hour, we'll be out the whole weekend" She looked back at him, blinking and not understanding. "I made you a promise, it's time to full-fill it" He smiled and she understood. She could still not believe this was happening, but just in case it was real, she didn't want to miss a beat. She ran inside of her house. Only 30 minutes later, she was already out and ready.
He had just saw her half an hour ago, but seeing her again, made him just feel like the first time. Such a wonderful feeling, such a wonderful person she was. Her dark hair falling on her shoulders making undescribable curves, her delicate and sweet factions perfectly shaped, and her big dark eyes looking deeper than the soul goes. She was just the most beautiful thing in the world, he thought. He stared at her, completly mesmerized, loving her smile, loving her eyes, loving every bit of her.
"Thank you" she said. That was the first thing he ever heard her saying out loud. And he couldn't have wished for better words.
The car was old but comfortable, he had to take an old one just so he could afford it. That was the truth. It had been a long time since he had last driven a car, and the roads were totaly unknown and foreign to him. He didn't even undestand most of the signs, and yet... he had never been happier and more comfortable driving a car. She was sitting next to him, talking, excited and also happy that it all was happening. Truth be told, she was still not believing it was real, but she decided to find out. She quietly started reaching for his right hand, which was resting on the gearshift. Slowly, slowly, until her hand rested upon his. A strange tingle ran through both their bodies, their bodies became warm in a second, and their hearts started racing for a few seconds, before slowly recovering a normal beat. But they both noticed it, they both looked at each other when they did. Their hearts beated, and they did so to same rhythm.
After a few hours of driving, he asked her to close her eyes and put her free hand covering them too. "It's a surprise" was all his explanation.
30 minutes later, he stopped the car. "Can I open my eyes yet" she said. It was dusk, and the sun was only to be seen far off in the distance. The shadows of the buildings were almost merging with the buildings themselves in the less illuminated areas of the city. He smiled. "Yes, you can", he said, while taking her hand off her eyes. She blinked a couple of times to adapt her vision, and suddenly her eyes openend widely. No way. That couldn't be... but there was no mistake, it was. Dakhla!
She inmediatly jumped on him, hugging him. He put his arms around her, one hand on her head, careessing her hair. They not only noticed their own heart beats, this time they felt each others'.
They didn't move for a while. That moment was too great. Finaly, he softly pushed her back after kissing her forehead. "Ain't you hungry?" He winked and motioned her to follow.
They walked the streets of Dakhla, without any hurry, enjoying the beauty of the different buildings there. She had always wanted to go there, it was something she had in her mind for years. She was finaly there, and with the company she most wanted. They walked for almost two hours, going through every street, admiring every corner they passed by.
They had dinner at a typical restaurant. Nothing too fancy for her, perhaps, but a new world of flavours and food for him. He tried everything she recommended him to try. You can't imagine how much laughing there was during that dinner, nor how many times they looked to each other and time froze on the spot. Even so, the dinner was finished, and they left the restaurant.
The moon, high on the sky, kept an eye on them. And the stars, even trying their best, could not outshine the light on their eyes. They were walking close to each other, he touched her finger briefly, but forced himself to take his hand away. She poked his finger back, playfuly, and smiled.
They arrived to the hotel at noon. As they stood in front of the door to their room, he cleared his throat. "I... I hope you don't mind, there's only a doublebed..". She laughed, took the room's key from his hand and went in, leaving her laughter echoing in the air like a soft melody that only he could hear. He smiled and followed, closing the door behind him and sitting on the corner of the bed.
She sat next to him, looked at him. He looked right back. He shyly moved his hand towards hers, grabing it softly without moving his gaze from her eyes. She was expecting to hear something that would make her swoon, that's the truth. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find any words. And so they remained for what it looked like an eternity. He finaly decided. He took a deep breath, and she thought she was going to say those words she was expecting.
And he did. He pulled her from the hand, softly, and kissed her on the lips, saying in one single move all those things he couldn't say in words, and all the words she wanted to hear as well. He kissed her on the lips as if he had never kissed before. At that very moment, time stopped existing, distance became no more than a long forgotten ghost, every effort became worth it. At that very moment... they found their other half in the world.
At that very moment, the two, become one soul.
viernes, 5 de junio de 2015
Lo que soy.
Llevaba unos días perdido en el mundo. A decir verdad no sabía si estaba perdido o si simplemente no estaba. El tiempo va pasando, y cada día se supone que nos vamos formando y creando como personas. Con cada experiencia, con cada decisión que tomamos... Y eso está bien. Podrá asustar más o menos, podrá ser menos o más conveniente, pero es algo que nos pasa a todos y que es ineludible.
Sin embargo, yo creo que hay algo más importante que esa formación continua en una persona. Algo más valioso que el ir descubriendo como te cambia la vida... y es el ir descubriendo en qué no te cambia, qué nunca cambia.
Se suele decir, que uno no cambia si no quiere realmente. Y quizá ahí esté la clave del asunto. Cuando uno tiene una parte de sí fuertemente arraigada en él, cuando está convencido de que es algo que el quiere, que le hace ser más uno mismo... entonces eso nunca cambia y se mantiene.
Y es por eso que hoy estoy aquí, sentado en un lugar que debería haber abandonado hace ya varias horas, esperando una llamada que posiblemente nunca llegue... simplemente porque sé que si llegara, me arrepentiría de no estar aquí para recibirla, aunque llegue al final del día.
Porque hay veces que la posibilidad de compartir 5 minutos, vale más que el perderse medio día.
Sin embargo, yo creo que hay algo más importante que esa formación continua en una persona. Algo más valioso que el ir descubriendo como te cambia la vida... y es el ir descubriendo en qué no te cambia, qué nunca cambia.
Se suele decir, que uno no cambia si no quiere realmente. Y quizá ahí esté la clave del asunto. Cuando uno tiene una parte de sí fuertemente arraigada en él, cuando está convencido de que es algo que el quiere, que le hace ser más uno mismo... entonces eso nunca cambia y se mantiene.
Y es por eso que hoy estoy aquí, sentado en un lugar que debería haber abandonado hace ya varias horas, esperando una llamada que posiblemente nunca llegue... simplemente porque sé que si llegara, me arrepentiría de no estar aquí para recibirla, aunque llegue al final del día.
Porque hay veces que la posibilidad de compartir 5 minutos, vale más que el perderse medio día.
martes, 26 de mayo de 2015
Vive
La gente dice que no se puede controlar lo que uno siente, que cuando alguien te gusta, es porque sí, y no puedes hacer nada al respecto. Es una manera muy romántica de verlo, pero la realidad no es siempre esa.
Creo que a veces sí elegimos. A veces sí nos auto-imponemos barreras, aunque no nos demos cuenta. Esas barreras se crean cuando, aun sabiendo que hemos encontrado a alguien que es diferente, no nos damos la oportunidad de ver a dónde puede llegar esa persona en nuestra vida. Ya sea por miedo, porque estamos soñando con otras cosas imposibles, o por cualquier otra razón.
Creo que a veces sí elegimos. A veces sí nos auto-imponemos barreras, aunque no nos demos cuenta. Esas barreras se crean cuando, aun sabiendo que hemos encontrado a alguien que es diferente, no nos damos la oportunidad de ver a dónde puede llegar esa persona en nuestra vida. Ya sea por miedo, porque estamos soñando con otras cosas imposibles, o por cualquier otra razón.
Sólo una muy pequeña parte de la gente se enamora a primera vista. Lo normal es conocerse, sentir interés por la otra persona, e ir descubriendo poco a poco hasta dónde esa persona es capaz de llegar en tu corazón.
No está mal probar, no está prohibido. Probar y equivocarse es lo que se hace hasta encontrar la respuesta acertada y, en este caso, la persona acertada también.
Menos miedo y menos excusas, chicos y chicas. Menos esperar a que ocurran las cosas y más intentar encontrarlas. Me río yo del dicho de "el amor te llega cuando menos lo esperas" o "El amor lo encontrarás cuando dejes de buscarlo". Me río, y no tiene gracia.
No está mal probar, no está prohibido. Probar y equivocarse es lo que se hace hasta encontrar la respuesta acertada y, en este caso, la persona acertada también.
Menos miedo y menos excusas, chicos y chicas. Menos esperar a que ocurran las cosas y más intentar encontrarlas. Me río yo del dicho de "el amor te llega cuando menos lo esperas" o "El amor lo encontrarás cuando dejes de buscarlo". Me río, y no tiene gracia.
Me río porque nada va a ir a tu puerta a buscarte. Ni el dinero, ni los amigos, ni el amor. Si tú no estás en el partido, nunca te llegará la pelota. Y si tú eres de los que no buscó y le llegó sin más, felicidades, me alegro por ti. En serio que me alegro, pero eres uno de un millón. Así que no tengáis tanto reparo en probar y que las cosas no salgan bien. Todas las heridas escuecen, sí. Pero, ¿quién no se cayó unas cuantas veces antes de aprender a ir en bicicleta? Y, ¿cómo vas a saber cuál es la persona adecuada, si no has conocido siquiera a las no adecuadas?.
Conoce, déjate conocer, levanta muros y barreras. Quizá no todas de golpe, pero sí poco a poco. No pierdas la ilusión, sueña, pero siempre sabiendo dónde está el suelo. Conoce y prueba, equivócate si te toca, y aprende a ver cuándo te has equivocado.
No lo consideres un fracaso, considéralo una lección.
No lo consideres un fracaso, considéralo una lección.
No te conformes, no te acomodes. Es fácil quedarse estancado, pero a la larga se convierte en un asco. Vivimos para vivir, no para pasar el rato. Así que vive, no te quedes ahí parado.
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